GUY: I knew I left a skiddie in my pants as I let out a stinkfart. I then asked my girlfriend to check under the covers to see whether there was a spider. She was immediately overcome by the repugnant gas that was down there and try as she might, she couldn't fight as my hands held her head in place. When she came up eventually, she remarked that she felt nauseous and that I had indeed shit my pants in the process. Nice!

My date and I went to grab a late night bite at this cheap diner after bar hopping in LA. The bill was $23 and I gave him $10 - slightly LESS than what I was supposed to pay. He said "Is that all you have?"

I was out of town, missed my boyfriend and thought he felt the same.. only to find him on Facebook partying this whole time and acting completely gay with his friends. What a 'confused' CHEATER!

A boyfriend wakes up his hot girlfriend with a fake head! So messed up - yet so funny. Guys can be funny dicks. See video below:  

Things weren't going well with my boyfriend so I knew I had to end it. I figured the best time to do it was before I jumped on a 48 hour plane ride - since it would give us space and prevent us from contacting each other via internet/phone. When I landed, I logged onto Facebook and saw a picture my "new" ex posted on my wall:

I wanted to play a prank on my boyfriend so I told him that I have herpes. He goes, "Babe, I'm sooo sorry that my recent outbreak infected you."

A Guy Spanks Girl and Shoves Pie In Her Face. He is the WORST boyfriend ever!


Guy Spanks Girl and Shoves Pie in Her Face - Watch more Funny Videos

A guy decides to dump his girlfriend on LIVE TV. What a cold-headed publicity whore! See below:

I was making out with a frat boy at my place and he kept on biting my lip and neck. I couldn't tolerate it anymore and asked what the hell he was doing. He said, "I wanna to be your Edward from Twilight ::wink wink::"

A guy tried multiple times to dance with me at the club. After I rejected him, he shouted "Bitch - you ain't all that!" Umm....nice way to save your pride - UGLY DICK.

Guy: Hey woman - are your parents retarded?

Girl: No, why would say that?

Guy: Cuz DAMN - You're special!!

A random guy at the street walks up to me and asks if my mom was a baker. I said "No, why?". He says it's cause I've got some nice buns.

The place I shared with my boyfriend was a huge filthy mess. Dishes were everywhere and dirty laundry was scattered across our bedroom floor. He says "Go get started" and clicked the TV on. I said "What the f**** did you mean?" He said women in China do the cleaning so I better get started. I got started all right - right out the door! 

I fake offered to pay for dinner. He asks 'Are you surrrre?' Of course not! I can't believe he let me pay on the first date! CHEAP DICK